What is the Cloud Anyway? – Tyler Ste Marie

Scientists have been asking each other this question for years but never have been able to come to a solid conclusion. Some think it’s an alien technology, a rogue group of IT professionals hacked into providing business support. Some say it’s a series of tubes. Some scientists think it’s even been around for centuries, born of magic conjured by dark wizards. Many think it’s the beginning of a hyper intelligent AI that will eventually start sending robots to the past to serve its own needs. It’s difficult to tell where the line between madness and genius is with these people.

There’s even a small collective that think the Cloud doesn’t even exist. They claim it’s nothing more than swamp gas or even a weather balloon. These scientists are very difficult to track down and sightings of these men and women, dressed entirely in black suits, coincidentally line up with a massive amount of short term amnesia. Weird.

Though there’s much disagreement on what The Cloud is there are many common questions scientists have (the ones that believe it’s real at least) regarding it. A few examples are:

Is it really in the sky?

Will the connection drop during a thunderstorm?

Does The Cloud have a GUI interface made in Visual Basic I can use to track IPs with?

How do you add more RAM?

Here at F12 we’re dedicated to finding the truth, and the masterminds here have captured their own Cloud. They’ve trapped it for research and to put it to work, squeezing every drop of power out of it to serve our clients. By staring into the mysterious depths of the blinking lights of the datacenter for hours I’ve become wise to its ways. The amalgamation of servers, routers, switches, backup devices, modems, monitoring devices, backup batteries, a generator in the back, a whole whack of cabling, and some extra lights to make it all look space-aged, creates one beast of a setup. Built from the ground up, it is truly the product of hard work and clever thinking, capable of providing a powerful business solution that’s flexible enough to be used in big or small environments. This futuristic technology is capable of handling all types of potentially disastrous scenarios like hard drive failures, power outages, and even internet outages without a single client even noticing.

I’ve also been told you could drive a semi-truck into the walls of the datacenter and still not get in. I don’t think they’ll let me test this, even in the name of science.

I feel there’s still much more to The Cloud than what I’ve covered here but at least I know I’m closer to the truth now, and it’s so much more interesting than any tangle of tubes or dark magic those internet scientists were talking about ever could be!

Tyler Ste Marie
Deployment Specialist


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